Is C.A.T.S For you?
You may already be using prescription medications to help with your depression, loneliness, and feeling that something is missing in your life, but managing heartache with prescription C.A.T.S works a little differently. C.A.T.S can be used for relief of your symptoms every day and should be used according to your doctor’s and veterinarian’s instructions.
C.A.T.S Can Help
C.A.T.S when cuddled daily can give you much needed companionship.
Are you ready to start enjoying your life?
Call your local animal shelter and talk about getting C.A.T.S. Free trial cuddles may be available.
For those not wanting to lean down for a full prescription dose, C.A.T.S is now available on the counter!
Important Safety Info about C.A.T.S
Prescription C.A.T.S has been known to cause addiction. Individuals prescribed a lower dose version of C.A.T.S, known as C.A.T., have quickly developed the need for the larger dose, C.A.T.S., in clinical studies. As the addiction progresses, individuals feel the need to increase their dosage of C.A.T.S. Call your doctor if your dosage exceeds 4 C.A.T.S. You may have developed a serious condition known as Crazy Cat Lady/Man Syndrome.
C.A.T.S are not for everyone. Do not get C.A.T.S. if you:
- Are prone to abusing or neglecting animals.
- Value things more than living creatures.
- Are planning to move to a place that does not allow C.A.T.S.
- Anyone in your home is allergic to C.A.T.S.
- Do not plan to keep using C.A.T.S until the whole prescription has run out.
Before Getting C.A.T.S talk to your animal adoption provider about:
- How well C.A.T.S will go with the other animals or children in your household.
- How to care for C.A.T.S.
- Whether it would be best for you to start with C.A.T or C.A.T.S.
The most common side effects of C.A.T.S include:
- Fur on clothing and furniture.
- A sensation of something warm and furry pressing on your body while you sit or lay down.
- Unraveled toilet paper rolls.
- Disappearance of food items left out on counters.
- Claw marks on furniture.
- Lack of privacy in the bathroom.
- The appearance of dead rodents on your bed in the morning.
- A feeling that you can not get up or reposition yourself in avoidance of inconveniencing C.A.T.S. – even if you have to go to the bathroom.
- Talking in funny voices to C.A.T.S.
- Having your fingers or toes bitten while you sleep.
- Sudden presence of a furry alarm clock.
- Reduction of space for you on your couch or bed.
- Hearing “singing” at 3 AM.
- Vomit and hairballs on the furniture and carpet. Occasionally someone will step or sit in this.
- The feeling that you no longer run your household.
- The inability to remain angry when you see that face.
Other Safety Information
Bathe C.A.T.S with caution. In clinical studies, many people who attempted to bathe C.A.T.S were left looking as if they had had a run in with Freddy Kruger. The scars did eventually heal.
How to Take C.A.T.S
C.A.T.S should be taken with plenty of love. Daily doses of petting, playing, feeding, watering, and treat giving. Occasionally you will need to scoop some poop. Keep C.A.T.S in a warm, dry area away from any people or animals that may eat them.